Pushing Through
by DesertOrchid7485
Summary: When Killer Frost stabs him in the leg again, Barry is left to push through the pain to help those he loves. When it's time to slow down, his friends are there to care for him. Barry whump. Tag to 3.20 "I Know Who You Are".
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Pushing Through

 **Summary:** When Killer Frost stabs him in the leg again, Barry is left to push through the pain to help those he loves. When it's time to slow down, his friends are there to care for him. Barry whump. Tag to 3.20 "I Know Who You Are".

 **Rating:** PG-13, just like the show itself

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Flash, incl. it's characters, actors, writers, or plots. There is some dialogue, some scenes really, that are directly from the show. I claim no credit for that whatsoever and if something sounds familiar, you now know why.

 **2)** Also, I am not medical professional - I'm a whumper. So if the pain seems overdone and the care isn't medically correct, refer to that statement :)

 **Author's Note:** In "I Know Who You Are", Killer Frost stabs Barry in the leg with an ice sickle. It's always bugged me that the first time that happened, we got to see Barry slowly recover from it but this time he was fine in the next scene. So I rewrote it to make me feel better.

 **2)** A BIG shoutout to my betas: water4willows and NickNikki, without whom, this fic wouldn't be nearly as good. Seriously, if you need someone to beta your The Flash fanfic - pm them!

 **oOo**

It was always hard for Iris to sit behind in the cortex while Barry raced off into danger. He may have been doing this for almost three years but Iris had only been aware of it for two. At first she had been too angry with him and too concerned for her father to really worry about what might happen to him while he was out there. She had also been under the impression that nothing could harm him because she still thought of him as The Flash more than Barry Allen. And superheroes were invulnerable, right?

Over time Iris had begun to realize that Barry was merely making things up as he went along, pretending to have a clue because others had needed him to. He got hurt often, but thanks to his healing abilities the injuries didn't tend to last for very long; the physical ones at least. The emotional wounds took far longer to heal and tended to make the biggest impact for him, especially if someone else was hurt because of him.

Knowing that Barry was going up against Caitlin, a.k.a Killer Frost, only made Iris more anxious. It would be hard for Barry - or Cisco for that matter - to strike at her because they still saw her as their friend. While Iris could understand that, she also recognized that whatever that girl did, she wasn't doing it as Caitlin Snow; she was Killer Frost all the way. She heard Barry make a plan with Cisco and she prayed that the scientist could do what needed to be done, for everyone's sakes.

When Barry cried out in pain, she knew that Cisco hadn't been able to act against Frost. She hoped that Barry was alright but she didn't dare ask. Ever since being brought into the fold, Iris had learned that one of Barry's biggest enemies was the cold; more specifically, anything that could reach absolute zero. Iris didn't know if Frost could reach that temperature, but she wouldn't put it past her.

Barry's second cry of pain was louder and longer, as though he were hurting worse this time. Iris reached for the mic, her instincts pushing her to ask if he was okay and what was happening. She heard him talking to Frost, trying to convince her that Caitlin was still inside her somewhere. Iris didn't have to hear Frost's reply to know that she'd said something to the contrary because Barry immediately began calling her name, "Cait! Cait" He stopped with another cry and then stayed quiet, apparently trying to breathe through the pain.

"Barry!" Irish called through the mic now that the danger had passed for the moment. "Barry, what happened?"

"We didn't stop her," he answered through, what she believed was, clenched teeth. "Brand is safe for now."

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned by the pain she heard in his voice.

"She stabbed me again."

He paused long enough to let out another cry, making Iris's heart rate go sky high. "Just stay still, okay," she coaxed. "Is Cisco anywhere around?"

Another pause, this one filled with his uneven breathing. "Yeah, he's coming now."

Iris nodded, immediately realizing that he couldn't see her. "Okay. I'll see you when you guys get here." She didn't know how badly Frost had hurt Barry but Iris was willing to bet that he'd be arriving with Cisco rather than streaking into the cortex first.

There was silence and then the comm. link disconnected. She assumed that Barry had done the same thing that she had - nodded rather than replying. At least, she hoped he had. She hadn't liked hearing him in such pain, but since she couldn't do anything about that right now, Iris settled for sitting back in the chair and staring at the spot where Barry's suit would hang. Her part would come soon. For now, all she could do was wait.

 **oOo**

A million things were flashing through Cisco's mind as he stood frozen - no pun intended - in place. Images of Caitlin kept reinserting themselves in his mind, interrupting his train of thought and making him unable to move. He couldn't believe that she had just tried to kill him. Of course, he knew that it hadn't been Caitlin who had acted - it had been Killer Frost. But even so, Cisco never believed that she would have tried to hurt him. Was she that far gone?

In the time it took him to get control of his body again, Killer Frost had walked down to where Barry had fallen after taking the hit that had been meant for Cisco. The ensuing cry of pain from his friend told him that Frost had done something to Barry. Given her penchant for pointed spears made out of ice, Cisco assumed that she had stabbed the speedster but he wasn't going to be positive about that until he went and checked on Barry himself.

A second cry had him going to Barry without further delay. When he reached him, it was to find Barry squirming on the ground as he attempted to reach the icicle that was sticking out of his leg. "Barry!" he called, rushing down the stairs to kneel beside his friend.

"Caitlin," Barry said in a voice full of pain. "Cisco, Caitlin."

"She's gone, man," Cisco answered. He didn't try to think of whether he meant for good or he simply meant from the vicinity as he looked his friend over. At the moment there were other matters to worry about.

The lightning symbol on Barry's suit had turned varying shades of white. Frost covered the gold of the lightning bolt, hiding it from view under the various crystals that had formed. Cisco fought the urge to inspect Barry's chest further simply because he had to get the speedster back to S.T.A.R Labs before Dr. Brand and H.R. came looking for them. So, instead he focused on the icicle that stuck out of his friend's leg. At first, Cisco was impressed. It was in there pretty deep and that was no small feat for someone of Caitlin's build.

"Wait, is that the same place she stabbed you before?" he asked, hesitant to touch it. He knew that it had to come out but Cisco was wary of causing his friend more pain.

The last time that Caitlin had gone all Killer Frost, Cisco had been too angry with Barry at the time to try and care about the fact that his friend had been temporarily maimed or that he was still hurt hours after he was back at S.T.A.R Labs. He vaguely remembered the spot where Killer Frost had stabbed Barry, and this certainly looked like the same place, but given his state of mind at the time, Cisco couldn't be sure.

"Yeah," Barry answered. He moved as though he were about to try and pull the frozen spear out of his leg only to stop with a cry of pain as he collapsed back down on the ground. "I think she was aiming for any scar tissue that might have been left behind from the last time."

"But you don't have any scar tissue from the last time," Cisco answered as he continued to stare at the thing. He couldn't tell if he was trying to gear up to take it out or if he was stalling. _Both,_ he decided. _It was definitely both_.

"No," Barry answered, his voice still rough. "I think Caitlin's hiding that from her, though. Cisco, please, just get it out."

"Alright," Cisco retorted. He would have added a 'chill' to the end of that but it seemed wrong and too ironic, given the situation, so he held it back. "I'm not usually the one who has to do these kinds of things."

"The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get out," was Barry's pained response.

Crap. Cisco hadn't thought about that. Even with the extreme cold, chances were good that Barry's meta super healing was already taking place. It wouldn't be long before the skin tried to knit back together with the icicle still inside. Cisco had seen that happen once and he didn't want to have to cut Barry's wound open to get it out like Caitlin had had to do. Although, since this was made of ice, wouldn't it just melt? Or would it remain since it was formed by a meta rather than naturally?

"Alright," Cisco said as he grabbed the frozen spear. "Ready?"

Hard determination blanketed Barry's face and he nodded. "Just do it."

Cisco stifled the urge to apologize the way Cait had done when she was about to extract the blade that Savitar had left behind when he'd stabbed Barry. He swallowed it though, knowing that at this point Barry cared more about getting it out than he did about the pain it would cause him.

The cold that assailed him when his skin came into contact with the ice was bone deep and painful. No wonder Barry seemed to be in such agony. Cisco didn't give any of it another moment's thought. He just pulled. Barry's answering cry of pain was raw and loud. It was short, thankfully, but it had lasted long enough for Cisco to know that he'd hear that in his head for a long time to come.

He dropped the icicle as soon as it was out, barely taking notice of it as it shattered on the ground. "You okay?" he asked, feeling foolish. Barry's whole body was tense with pain, his jaw clenched and his eyes wide. Tears leaked out the sides of his eyes as he tried to blink them away. It was obvious to anyone who looked at him, that he wasn't okay.

Barry nodded, though, understanding that Cisco was more or less asking if he was okay enough to get off the ground. "Let's get out of here."

 **oOo**

With Cisco's help, Barry made it back to S.T.A.R Labs in time to get treated before Dr. Brand and H.R. got there. There wasn't much that could be done, but H.R. taking Tracy back into Jitters to get a cup of non-frozen coffee before bringing her to S.T.A.R Labs certainly helped. Barry was grateful for the break, and he told Cisco to tell H.R. thank you for him. The Flash couldn't be injured when she met him; that's not how superheroes worked. Tracy had to have faith in what they were all going to tell her and having the protector of the city unable to stay on his feet wasn't going to get it done.

Even so, Barry knew that the leg was going to hurt for a while. Rapid though his healing was, the cold had slowed it down immensely. Barry actually suspected that was one of the reasons that Savitar had recruited Killer Frost. Not only would her being in Caitlin's body give them all pause before they acted against her, but her powers were one of the few weapons that could do major damage to both him and Wally.

Barry allowed Iris to tend to him, like she had the last time Killer Frost had stabbed him, doing his best to be patient and strong. He hurt. A lot. His leg throbbed with bone-deep pain every time he flexed it or put weight on it and his chest, where Frost's stream had pounded into him, still burned from the hit. The skin wasn't as badly damaged as when Cold's gun had struck him but there was still damage.

"How's it feel?" Iris asked him as she secured the bandage around his leg.

"It's fine," he answered, not entirely thinking about the here and now.

The closer they got to the night Iris was supposed to die, the less Barry could focus on anything but what he saw. He had to try and convince Tracy to help them because without her, he honestly wasn't sure how they were going to defeat Savitar. Not that he would ever admit that out loud. His team was depending on him to lead them; his doubts had no place in that position.

Iris's answering expression told him that she didn't believe him, that like usual she could see through his lies, but she let him get away with it. They both knew what was driving him. Just like they both knew that she wasn't going to deter him from this meeting just because he was hurt. Even though he knew that she wanted to ask him another question, she didn't, allowing him to get dressed instead. He knew that they would talk more about how he was feeling later but for now, they had business to deal with.

 **oOo**

The meeting went as well as could be expected. Given everything they were heaping on Tracy, Barry hadn't expected it all to fall into place at once; this wasn't a movie musical after all. At the same time H.R. went to talk Tracy into helping them, Cisco left as well, Julian following not far behind. Barry watched his friend leave with worry. He didn't know what Cisco was feeling but he could guess what was on his friend's mind - Caitlin. Or Killer Frost, he guessed they should call her now. Figuring that Julian could handle what needed to be said, Barry changed into his street clothes then sat down in the chair next to Iris.

"You okay?" he asked, worried about how all this was affecting her.

Like him, she was trying to be strong for them all. But no matter how much she tried to hide it, Barry knew that she was afraid. He wasn't the only one who was having nightmares and unlike him, Iris tended to talk in her sleep. Most of the time she dreamt about what would happen to him, or Joe, or Wally when she was gone, but there were nights when she begged Savitar not to kill her. Those nights were the ones that broke Barry's heart. They were when he realized that, not only had he begun to lose hope of stopping Savitar, but she had too.

"That could have gone better," she admitted, looking him over. "How about you? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he lied. "Just hoping that H.R. can talk Tracy into helping us."

"Yeah," Iris agreed. Her gaze left him, following Joe as he too walked out of the room. "Is my dad okay?" she asked once he'd gone. "He's acting…weird."

"Yeah, I think something happened with Cecile."

"Maybe I should talk to him."

"I got it," Barry volunteered, needing to do something other than sit around and wait.

"You should rest," she argued in a tone that suggested she knew he wasn't going to listen to her and that she wished he would. "You're still hurt."

"I'm fine," he lied again. He hid a wince as he leaned in to kiss her. Aside from sitting and watching her, kissing Iris had become his favorite pastime. He couldn't get enough of it, couldn't get enough of her really. "Don't lose hope," he encouraged as he pulled away.

She smiled at him, her love for him shining in her eyes. "You too," she answered, grabbing his hand and holding on.

Smiling, Barry kissed the back of her hand. "I'm gonna check on Joe."

Since he knew what she was going to say, he got up before she could answer, using his body to hide a grimace as he did so. When his leg threatened to collapse under him, Barry used his speed to get away so that he could fall against the wall of an unused corridor in private.

There were many things Barry was allowed to do, but feeling pain wasn't one of them.

 **oOo**

He found Joe sitting in the darkened training room, staring off into space in deep thought. Barry did his best not to limp as he walked in with a, "Hey."

"Hey," Joe answered back. "How's Tracy holding up?"

While Barry had been trying to catch his breath in the hall, Iris had sent him a message that H.R. had managed to talk Dr. Brand into helping them. Relief had washed over Barry but he hadn't allowed himself to feel it for too long. Just because she had agreed to help didn't mean that they still were close to finishing, to defeating Savitar.

"We'll see," Barry answered, hoping he'd been able to hide the cynicism he could feel creeping in. "Um," he said, changing the subject, though Joe didn't know that yet, as he sat down next to the detective. He strangled a wince when the skin on his chest burned and his leg sent a painful throb through the damaged muscles. "Have you told Cecile about us yet?"

Joe raised his hands in an almost defeated way, his expression asking where in world he should even start. "Cecile is the only thing…normal I have in my life right now. And I like having something normal. If I tell her about all this, _that_ goes away."

"But if you don't tell her," Barry prompted, knowing the answer he would get.

"There may not be an 'us'," Joe filled in.

"Mhm," Barry agreed. "Joe, there's no such thing as normal." Though he wished for his father's sake that there was. In the beginning, Barry had been glad that someone had known about him. It had made making up excuses for being late or absent easier and it had also eased the burden of trying to be something more overall. But the longer things went on, and the more things happened, the more Barry sometimes found himself wishing that he could have spared Iris, Joe, and Wally from everything. "Love is the only thing that makes the fight worth it," he added, speaking from experience. "And it's the only thing that's gonna get us through it."

Joe didn't answer but Barry knew he had heard and that he was debating what he should do. While they both knew what should be done, Barry also knew that it was harder to reconcile your heart to the idea of changing someone's life, possibly for the worst, forever. This wasn't something Barry could talk Joe into doing. The detective had to decide for himself that it was right.

"Guys!" H.R.'s voice called as the man came running in. "Guys, there you are," he said sounding out of breath and frantic. "We got a big problem. Tracy's gone."

Barry and Joe shared a look as H.R. ran out of the room. They both stood up to chase after Wells 3.0 but when pain seared through his leg, Barry fell back down with a cry that he couldn't stifle. Weakness, Barry could hide with relative ease. Pain was harder, especially when you weren't expecting it.

"Bar!" Joe called in evident concern, sitting back down as well with a hand on Barry's back.

"I'm fine, Joe," Barry said, answering the unasked question he heard in his father's voice. "It's fine. We've got to find Tracy."

When Joe opened his mouth, no doubt to argue against the idea of Barry being fine, Barry sped off. Pain tore through him in intermittent spikes while he ran but he ignored it. Finding Tracy and saving Iris were the only things that mattered now. Barry didn't have the luxury of resting. Like all superheroes when they get hurt, Barry's only option was to push through the pain.

 **oOo**

While Barry ran off to look for Tracy, Joe made his way to the cortex with a feeling of dread growing in his heart. He was worried about telling Cecile everything, of course, but right now Barry concerned him more. The kid was pushing himself too hard. He understood why - he would probably be doing the same thing if he were in Barry's shoes - but it was still an unwise move. They all needed Barry healthy, not sleep deprived and hurting.

Everyone but Barry was already in the cortex by the time Joe arrived, making him feel late to the party. Taking the opportunity, Joe pulled Iris to him and held on. "How are you doing, baby?" he asked as he released her.

"I'm okay," she answered, looking worried. "Did Barry talk to you?"

Joe nodded, not wanting to go into all that with his daughter. "I'm worried about him," he said instead, making sure to keep his voice low enough so it was just them. "He's hurt far worse than he's letting on."

"I know. Every time I try to get him to stay off his feet, he finds another reason to do exactly the opposite." She sighed, sounding annoyed and sad.

"You know Barry," Joe said in a tone far lighter than he felt. "He feels like he has to fix this because he's the one who broke it."

"But at what cost, Dad?" she retorted as her anger took control over her voice.

Joe held up his hands in peace. "Don't shoot the messenger. I'm just telling you what you already know."

"You're right," she admitted. "I'm sorry. I worry that by the time this is all over, we won't even recognize Barry anymore."

 _If you don't make it through this, baby girl, none of us will recognize Barry,_ Joe thought sadly.

Barry came in not long after that, sliding to a stop just behind Cisco. Since it was obvious that the kid hadn't found Tracy, Joe ignored him as he said it. Instead, he studied him, noticing and not liking the way Barry tried to hide a limp from them. He probably would have been successful at it if it hadn't been for Joe specifically looking for it.

Although it was weird to holographically stalk her, it didn't take long for them to find Tracy. So while H.R. practically ran out of the room to go and talk to her, Joe went up to Barry. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Barry's brows furrowed in confusion and worry, but he nodded. "Yeah."

When Barry made to go into the hall, the place where they usually took their private conversations, Joe grabbed his arm and gently pulled him into the medical room. "Sit," he commanded as he closed the door behind them.

"Joe," Barry began, probably trying to assure him that he was fine.

Joe wasn't having it. "No, Barry," he said, cutting the kid off. "H.R. is handling Doctor Brand, and right now there's nothing else for you to do. So you are gonna sit there and let your body heal."

"This isn't necessary," Barry argued, looking both exhausted and exasperated. "I'm already healing. I don't need to sit around for that to happen."

"Well that's exactly what you're going to," Joe argued back. When Barry began to glare at him, he continued. "Oh you don't like it? Well too bad, kid. Because I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like seeing you try to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. I don't like watching you walk around in pain because you're too stubborn to sit down and let someone else take charge. And I definitely don't like watching my baby girl be upset because she's worried about you."

That last one got to Barry. He looked away, presumably at Iris, averting his gaze. "She shouldn't have to worry about me."

"She loves you, Bar. Of course she's gonna worry about you."

"I'm not the one that needs saving, Joe. She does," the kid snapped. "That's what I'm trying to do. Okay? I am trying to save her life!"

"Even if it's at the cost of your own?"

Barry's brows furrowed again. "What are you talking about?"

"You're exhausted, Barry. You look like you haven't had a good night's sleep in days. And you goin out there injured is only going to get you killed."

"I'm fine, Joe, alright?" the kid argued, looking angry and fed up with the conversation. He made as though to stand up but Joe pushed him back down with a hand against the kid's chest. Barry's expression went from annoyed to pained in an instant.

"You're not fine, Barry," Joe answered quietly. He stood where he was, watching sadly as the kid placed a hand just under the spot Joe had pressed on and began rubbing it. Pain still covered his face but it was more distant now, as though his body was registering it but his mind was somewhere else entirely. "Stay here," Joe commanded. "Rest. I doubt Savitar's done with Tracy yet. We'll need you soon enough."

Barry nodded but didn't asnwer. Joe knew the kid was still thoroughly annoyed with him and he didn't care one bit; Barry was being foolish and somebody needed to tell him so. Joe waited until the kid had laid back against the partially raised medical bed before he left. As much as he wanted to stay here to make sure that Barry did as he was told, Joe knew that he couldn't. His day job beckoned and he couldn't put it off any longer. So, he sent the only other person who could keep Barry in check.

"Keep him company," he instructed Iris, though he knew that he didn't need to.

"Where are you going?'

"I have some paperwork I need to fill out and file. Figured I'd go do it while I had the time." He gave Iris another hug. "Call me when you hear something."

"Kay," she answered. "Love you, Dad."

"Love you too baby girl," he answered with a smile. Joe allowed the smile to linger until he was well out her line of sight where it melted like ice in summer. He worried what would happen to Barry if Iris died. But he also worried what he would do too. Joe couldn't lose Iris. He just couldn't.

 **TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Barry stayed on the bed long enough to make sure that Joe was gone. He knew Joe cared about him, but sitting still had never been Barry's strong suit and with time running out, he felt like doing it even less. And anyways, with all this running around, he was famished.

"Uh, where do you think you're going?" Iris asked as she walked into the room.

"Come on, Iris, you guys can't expect me to just sit here." Ignoring the fact that she was blocking the door, Barry got off the bed and carefully made his way towards her. "Besides, I'm hungry." Iris stayed in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest, watching him. Barry sighed, debating whether or not to speed around her and leave. He could do it. But then he'd have to deal with her wrath when he returned. If you can't beat them, join 'em, right? "It seems like we've got some time to kill. You want to grab some dinner?"

"You should stay here and rest," she half-argued. There was a pause in which he tried to come up with a valid argument but she continued, "But since the only way we could get you to do that would be to tie you down, where do you want to go?"

With the exception of eating, all Barry wanted to do was crawl into bed with Iris and hold her. But she deserved better than to grab some pizza and go home so Barry wracked his brain for a better idea. "Tito's?" he suggested since Mexican sounded good.

"Sure," she agreed, though she didn't sound or look particularly partial either way. A glimmer began to shine in her eyes just as a smile creased her face. "We can get it to-go."

Heat pulsed through him at the implications and he returned her smile, her gleam. He pulled her to him, wishing he could stay in this moment for a little longer. No Savitar. No metas. Just him and her. But that wasn't how life worked. He released her reluctantly, a small part of him wanting to cry as she stepped away.

Apparently, nine o'clock at night was the perfect time to get tacos because when they arrived, Tito's was super busy. One glance from Iris had Barry resolving not to Flash their way out of the wait so he resigned himself to standing in line behind a half dozen people, each of whom wanted at least five tacos a piece, with Iris beside him. It hurt to stand for so long and he eventually leaned into Iris the longer they waited. He wasn't going to complain or say anything of the pain, however, since it was pointless do so. He just needed time to heal, time they didn't have at the moment.

They had just gotten home when they received texts from Joe saying that Cecile had been taken by Killer Frost. With a shared look of concern, they were back in the car, on their way to S.T.A.R Labs. Since Barry had been too hungry to wait, he'd eaten his food on the way home. Now he drove while Iris ate. They both hated eating in the car but lately it seemed like that was the only time they could carve out _to_ eat so they adapted and did their best to clean up afterwards.

Joe was already there, pacing in the cortex, by the time they arrived. He allowed them time to gather together before he told them the entire story, and what Killer Frost wanted.

"So you're saying that, if we don't turn Tracy over to Killer Frost," Iris said as she tried to grasp the situation.

"She's gonna kill Cecile," Joe finished for her, still pacing.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," H.R. said, fiddling with his drumsticks. "Tracy _is_ our key to fighting Savitar, right?"

"Yes, but what are we gonna do?" Cisco answered. "We just gonna let Killer Frost live up to her name and kill somebody?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Julian practically growled.

"All I'm saying is, we need to do whatever it takes to save her," Joe pitched it.

The worry Barry saw coming from his father hurt him but he swallowed it, knowing that it wouldn't do anyone any good. "No one's gonna die," he said, instead, exuding as much confidence as he could. "Alright? We're gonna get her back. I promise."

Iris reached out a hand to her father as she tried to provide what little comfort she could. Joe didn't ignore her, necessarily, but it could have looked that way because at that precise moment, his phone went off with a text alert. He took it out of his pocket, studying whatever the screen said. "It's them," he said even though they all knew that already. He looked up, addressing them all, "They're at the old Dressler factory."

"Okay," Cisco answered, "We know where they are. That's something." He paused to see if anyone would immediately jump in with ideas and then asked the obvious question, "So, what do we do?"

"I have a plan," Barry said. Technically it was a vague notion of a plan but it was more than what everyone else had so he went with it.

Everyone listened intently as he explained his idea, patiently allowing Cisco and Julian to interrupt when they saw a flaw or had a better idea. Once they were all in agreement, Cisco went off to get his things, Julian following quickly after him for some reason, and H.R. went to go ask Tracy for her help. Asking her to risk her life made Barry a little nervous, but his faith in his ability to not only protect Tracy and rescue Cecile, but also to bring Caitlin home was stronger than his doubt. So, he changed into his Flash suit and prayed this wasn't about to go pear-shaped.

A gut feeling, though, told him that God wasn't listening to him today.

 **oOo**

From his spot frozen on the concrete floor, Barry watched in fascinated horror as Cisco faced off with Killer Frost. The cold from the ice was deep and penetrating. It permeated the suit, seeping into his skin and setting it a fire with burning pain. Like all metas, Frost's powers were stronger than their natural counterparts. The strength of cold coming from her ice was magnified tenfold when compared to that of deep winter. It wasn't long before Barry's lungs started to seize, leaving him short of breath as he tried to free himself from his ice prison.

The light coming from both Frost's and Cisco's streams was almost blinding in it's brilliance when compared to the relative dark of the abandoned factory. Where the two different energies combined appeared to be white-hot, though Barry knew that it was in fact the opposite. Cisco's stream pulsed as it tried to overcome Frost's constant barrage of cold. As Cisco was forced backwards from the strength of Frost's stream, Barry struggled harder to get free, worried that his friend may not survive this encounter with Caitlin's evil side.

An almost gleeful smile appeared on Frost's face when it looked like she would win. But then Cisco fought back and the smile disappeared into a look of concentration then worry. Her mouth fell open in shock as she realized she would be beaten this time and though Barry was still fighting against the blanket of cold she'd layered over him, he couldn't help but give a small smile at that. Cisco gave a yell full of strength, anger, and pain, and Frost went flying, landing in a shower of sparks.

While Cisco ran over to Frost to get a blood sample, Barry finally vibrated enough to free himself. The blanket of ice over his upper half shattered and fell away and it was only then that he realized that a small amount had formed over his injured leg too. Was that why it had hurt so much to try and get free? He stood, ignoring the flash of pain from his calf and watching as Joe, Cecile, and Tracy rejoined them. Barry managed to believe for a brief second that it was over but then a blue streak raced in, knocking Cisco away from Frost before circling back to stand over her.

"My ascension is nearly at hand, Flash," Savitar stated. "As I rise, you will fall."

With his enemy right in front of him, Barry was sorely tempted to fight him. But no sooner had he said that than Savitar scooped Frost up and sped away. Barry watched the direction in which Savitar had left, heart racing and skin on fire as circulation slowly returned. He sighed, the action more of a way of breathing than a statement of anything, and turned back to make sure that Cisco was alright.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked as he knelt down and placed a hand on his friend's bicep.

"Oh, that's gonna leave a mark," was Cisco's mumbled answer.

Barry smiled, relieved. He looked up at the other three, focusing on Joe the most. "You guys okay?"

Joe's eyes were sad yet stunned, like he couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed. Even so, he nodded. "Yeah, we're okay." He paused, focusing on Barry now. "You?"

Barry's nerves still seared with pain as his skin warmed and the unhealed wound in his leg throbbed, but he nodded anyways. "I'm okay."

"Great, now can we please get out of here before they come back?" Tracy interjected.

"Can you take them all back to S.T.A.R Labs?" he asked Joe since he couldn't very well run them all back.

"Hold up," Cecile said. "Why do I have to go to S.T.A.R Labs? I'm fine and that place isn't what I would call safe."

"Actually," Tracy started.

Then Joe interrupted her. "I'll take you to your car," he said, looking down at his girlfriend. Oh sure, he'd argue with Barry til the cows come home about whether or not he needed medical attention, but with Cecile he just decides to let her go home. Figures. Joe walked closer so that their conversation wouldn't be heard so well by the others. "I'll see you at S.T.A.R Labs?"

Barry looked between Joe and Cecile then said, "I think you may have other things to do." He stood, wincing when his leg argued against that, and pulled Cisco to his feet. "And so do we."

"Yeah, okay," Joe answered. He sounded and looked tired now, but he also looked…defeated, like he he knew that he could not longer keep Cecile in the 'normal' category and it broke his heart. It could also have been that he was upset that Cecile had been dragged into the whole mess. Barry honestly couldn't tell. "Everybody ready?" Joe asked as he turned away from Barry and walked back over to the ladies.

"I think he means you too, dude," Barry hinted at Cisco, who had yet to move.

"Yeah, yeah," Cisco mumbled. "You get whammed by Savitar and see how quickly you move."

Barry chuckled. "You mean like the time that I got stabbed in the shoulder by him?" he countered, walking with his friend just in case he wasn't as okay as he was making out to be. It wasn't like it was going to take him too long to get back to S.T.A.R Labs anyways.

"Oh," Cisco answered as he remembered the incident. "Well, some of us don't have regenerative healing, okay?"

"Fair enough," Barry admitted. "I'll see you back at S.T.A.R Labs, alright?"

Cisco nodded his answer, climbing into the backseat of Joe's truck with Tracy. Barry remained where he was for a minute, watching the truck exit the factory's driveway and pull onto the street.

Tonight had been close; too close. He needed to get faster if he wanted to stop Savitar and bring Caitlin back home. Another painful throb when through the back of his leg, telling him that he could train harder tomorrow. Tonight, he needed to heal.

 **oOo**

Joe dropped Cecile off at her car first. She had been quiet during the car ride. They all had, really. But her silence bothered him the most. As a cop, he understood that victims of kidnapping often needed time to process what they had just gone through and allow the shock of it all to subside, but as a lover all he could do was worry.

He watched her get into her car before he headed over to S.T.A.R Labs, his mind running 100 miles a minute the entire drive. He knew he should tell her. She had been dragged into his world and she deserved an explanation at the least. Yet he was still hesitant. A big part of him still wanted to keep her separate from all the craziness, to keep her pure of it. But the rest of him realized that that wasn't an option now and it was against that part that he was fighting.

While he let Cisco and Tracy out, Joe pulled his phone out and sent off a message to Cecile, asking her to meet him at her earliest convenience. She replied her willingness to do it, suggesting they meet at CCPD in about an twenty minutes. He was both surprised and pleased that she was willing to meet so soon. Doing this sooner rather than later was best but he had thought that she would want some time to rest before she met with him.

He headed straight to CCPD from S.T.A.R Labs, beating her there. Since Singh wasn't in the office, Joe confiscated it, pacing back and forth inside while he waited. He was staring at a picture on the wall when she knocked. "Hey," he greeted, taking his hands out of his pockets.

"Hey," she answered.

"Thanks for seeing me." He waved a hand to the couch. "Come on in." She looked nervous as he closed the door, enclosing them in privacy, and Joe felt his concern for her rise a little more. "So how are you doing?" he asked her, unable to keep himself from checking on her.

"Joe, I'm fine," she answered, her right hand encircling her left wrist where minor rope abrasions could be seen. Or maybe it was just Joe who could see them. He honestly couldn't tell. "I just," she looked around then continued, "you know, I wish you would have told me what was going on with you. A-a-although I, obviously, have some idea now."

"It was my fault that you got caught up in all this," Joe admitted as guilt sunk its claws into him. "I'm so sorry, Cecile."

"Joe, me too," she said as she sat down on the couch rather than the arm of it. "Look, I,"

"You told me," he interrupted her, not done, "that you loved me this mornin? I froze." She snorted, her expression saying 'duh' but he ignored it. "I knew that meant that we moved up a level in our relationship. And, for me, that level comes with a lot of baggage."

"Like Killer Frost and The Flash," she answered.

"Yeah."

"So you thought that pushing me away was the thing to do," she said in a tone that said she still didn't agree.

"I thought that I was protecting you. Clearly I was wrong. Because not only did I lie to you, I lied to myself. And you know what? I'm done with that." He got up so that he could sit next to her, wanting to comfort her, to hold her, but needing to get this all out first. "And," he said as he slid his wedding ring off his finger. "I'm done with this. Thank you for not making a big deal about me wearing this."

She smiled a little, nodding her answer as her eyes filled with tears. He placed the band in the inside right pocket of his sport coat then looked at her again. "Cecile Horton, I love you." She smiled, laughing a little even with the tears in her eyes. "I love you with all my heart. And I'm sorry that I was dishonest with you. But from now on, there will be no more secrets between us.

Cecile laughed again, this time in pure delight, and they leaned into one another for a kiss. Joe gently caressed her cheek, pulling away long enough to breathe before kissing her some more. But that couldn't last forever so he made good on his promise. "I should have told you a long time ago. It's not bad," he assured her, in case she thought that it was. "But it is complicated."

He paused for a moment, wondering where on earth he should begin. Did he begin with Barry becoming The Flash? Did he start with Wally first? Did he start with Wells-Thawne? Cecile's brows furrowed. "What?" she asked, clearly worried by his hesitation.

Joe shook his head then chuckled. "I'm just having a hard time figuring out where to start," he admitted.

"Well, let's start with this - do you know who The Flash is?" she asked, clearly thinking that was the easiest place to begin.

Even though he had vowed to tell her everything and the truth of it, Joe's first reaction was to protect Barry by lying. It would take awhile for that instinct to go away, if it ever did, but he realized that he needed to trust Cecile, not only with his heart and secrets, but with his kids'. He nodded, answering, "It's Barry."

"Barry," she said, clearly not believing him. "You mean Barry Allen, the guy who is chronically late to everything?" There was a pause as she thought that over then said, "Of course. Who else would you run into danger for but Barry?"

"Wally," Joe immediately answered.

It took a moment but then she blinked and said, "Wait a minute. Are you seriously telling me that Wally is Kid Flash?" He chuckled again and nodded because that was all he could do. Joe knew that he should feel bad for enjoying her perplexity but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Seeing her reactions to the news was cute as well as hilarious. "How did this happen?" she asked as astonishment and curiosity took over.

"That's a long story," he answered. "One which I will gladly tell you but for tonight, I think you should get some rest. You've had a long, hard day."

"So have you," she answered as concern filled her eyes. "Something tells me that's not new for you, though."

"I wish it was," he admitted. A part of him wanted nothing more than to delve completely into the mad story that had become his life, to share with her the danger that Iris was and how that was affecting him, and how worried he was for all of his family, but he held back. Now was not the time to overwhelm her. In this case, baby steps might be best.

"Well," she said as she stood up. "Their secrets are safe with me."

"Can you imagine if Joanie found out?" Joe joked, laughing.

"Yes, and it's something that I would rather not think about," Cecile said, laughing herself. She stopped just shy of opening the door, turning to look at him. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Providing nothing dire happens between now and then, do you want to do dinner?"

"Sounds perfect," she said before she opened the door and left.

Now that that was over, Joe felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. His troubles weren't over, of course, but knowing that he was no longer lying to those he loved had helped him more than he would have thought. Yes, Cecile was possibly in more danger now that she knew but at least she wasn't going into this thing with him blind. And that had to be worth something. Right?

 **oOo**

When Joe walked into his house, he was pleasantly surprised to find all his kids sitting on the couch, looking at something on Wally's phone. There were times when Joe still couldn't believe that he got lucky enough to have this family. He hadn't known that he could feel this blessed to have them in his house.

"Wally!" he greeted as he walked in.

"Dad," Wally answered, looking happy to see him.

"Hey," he said, placing his briefcase down so that he could engulf his son in a hug. "How was it?"

"It was, yeah it was great. Jessie says 'Hi'."

"So you talked to Cecile?" Barry asked while Joe took his coat off and hung it up.

Joe hadn't missed how Barry had stood up the moment he'd entered, but he couldn't account for it. Since there wasn't any crisis happening, Joe would have thought the kid would have remained sitting. But perhaps his leg was healed? Or at least close enough to where Barry could ignore it?

"I did," he answered while Wally sat down next to Iris. "Told her everything. Told her that I love her. I told her that you were The Flash and that Wally was Kid Flash." Wally moved to make space for him on the couch while Barry sat on the arm of it. There were times when Joe thought that he should really get more furniture in this place, given the hub of activity it had become, but he usually ignored the idea. He liked his living room as it was and it really wasn't big enough for more furniture. "Don't worry," he added, looking at Wally. "She promised me that she wouldn't tell Joanie."

They all shared a laugh as each one of them imagined Joanie's reaction if she ever found out.

"What changed your mind?" Barry asked, a pale imitation of his usual smile on his face.

"You," Joe answered, looking at his second son. "All of you," he added, looking over at Iris as well. "I mean, love's the only thing we've got in this world, and without it, nothing really matters." He paused as everyone silently agreed, hating the saddened look that Barry was giving Iris. "And who knows what we'd become if we didn't have it." He looked over at Wally, noting out of the corner of his eye that Barry was barely paying attention. "How was Earth-3?"

"Yeah, uhm, hanging out with Jessie was awesome," Wally answered, his hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was nervous to be talking about this stuff with his dad.

Not for the first time, Joe wondered what things would have been like if he'd known about Wally long before the kid had grown up. Would Wally find it easier or harder to talk to him about girls? He understood Barry's hesitation because, in his case, talking about girls meant talking about Iris and there were certain things that a father didn't need to know about his daughter's personal life. But with Wally, things were different. Joe had no personal interest in Jessie other than Wally's interest in her. He _wanted_ to know how Wally felt about her and if he wanted things to go further. But in spite of all that had happened between them over the past year, Wally still felt uncomfortable talking to him. It made Joe sad, made him think that he'd failed his son in some way.

"Barry!" Iris called, not only serving to grab her fiancé's attention but her father's.

Joe looked up to see Barry staring off into space with a look of devastated realization on his face. It was as though he had just figured something out and the idea of it was horrifying to him. Not a good sign when it comes to Barry.

"Are you okay?" Iris asked once she had Barry's attention.

Barry looked around like he had briefly forgotten where he was. "Yeah," he answered. "Uhm, sorry," he said, faking a smile and then getting up. "I'll be, I'll be right back. Alright?" he said, trying to give them all a reassuring look or touch before he raced out of the house.

For a second they all stared at one another, each one looking to the other for a clue as to what that was about.

"That was weird, right?" Wally said after a few minute's of getting nothing. "That wasn't just me?"

"No, it wasn't you," Iris said, leaning against the arm of the couch so she could still face them all. "That was weird." She looked at Joe, "Do you know what that was about?"

Joe held up his hands. "Baby, I know less about that man lately than you do," he answered, just as baffled as the rest.

"Well, should we go to S.T.A.R Labs and track him?" Iris suggested, clearly thinking that idea was the best one.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I want a shower and some food before we do anything else," Wally said, evidently less worried about what Barry was doing than the rest of them.

"That's actually not a bad idea," Joe said after thinking it through. He looked at Iris, "Whatever Barry's doing, either Cisco will call us and let us know or Barry will come home to you. There isn't a need for you to go to S.T.A.R Labs just yet."

As though that settled everything, Wally got off the couch, wishing them both good night, and went upstairs. Iris waited until Wally was gone before she said, "I worry about him. You know?"

Oh yeah, he knew. And he shared that worry, though he wasn't going to say anything. "Should he even be running off?" Joe asked. "Isn't he still hurt?"

"I think he's okay now," Iris answered. "He's been taking it pretty easy since you guys came back from the factory." She sighed. "I just, I wish he'd talk to me rather than run off, you know?"

"Baby, I don't think that had anything to do with you," Joe assured in spite of the fact that Iris already knew that. "He looked like he'd just gotten an idea or something. He probably went to look into it."

"Yeah," Iris absently answered, eyes glued to the door. "Maybe." When she looked back at Joe, he could tell she wasn't convinced but that she was content to leave it for now. She smiled at him, "I think I'm gonna go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night," he said, returning her a hug when she bent down to give him one. "Let me know what Barry finds out."

"I will," she promised, offering him a smile.

He watched her leave, waiting until she was gone before he got up and grabbed a beer. In spite of what he'd said, he had no intention of going to sleep until he'd heard from either Iris, Barry, or Cisco. And he couldn't decide which one he preferred it to be.

 **Fin**


End file.
